Steam cauliflower and turnip until soft and puree in food processor.
Gradually add coconut milk until the mash reaches the consistency of mashed potatoes.
Add salt, nutmeg, and garlic and give the food processor one last whirl to mix. Transfer contents of food processor to mixing bowl.
Sauté onion in fat/oil until translucent. Add chopped kale to the pan and sauté until just starting to go limp. This won't take long, so be careful.
Add onions, kale, and bacon to cauliflower mash and stir to combine.
Serve piping hot and enjoy!